I attended church this morning with my parents for Mother’s Day (her requested gift) and while I should have been paying more attention to the sermon, which was on purposeful ministries, my mind wandered to memories of mine and my mom’s life together.
Today, I would say my mother is my best “girl” friend, but it wasn’t always like that. In fact our relationship was more volatile than anything until about 6 years ago. Growing up Mom and I bumped heads in a bad way. I had an almost constant attitude and really didn’t show her the respect she deserved when I was younger. She’d say, “It’s not even what you’re saying sometimes, it’s how you say it.” I was just down right mean. I didn’t have patience for her questions about my life growing up and as a result spoke to her like she was the biggest pain in the world. In reality, she was just trying to be the best mom she could be. For some reason as a child I couldn’t see that though.
Now as an adult, I often wonder how she ever did it. How she put up with it all, how she put clothes on our bodies and food on our table when we were so poor. I know how much I struggle now financially and I don’t even have a kid. I can’t imagine being able to afford one even if I was forced to. Mom raised two. I know now, that we were only able to have those things because she sacrificed so much of her own needs for us. And still to this day, she sacrifices her own wants to provide for me and my sister whenever we need something, no questions asked.
My mother’s ability to give selflessly is by far her best attribute and as much as I appreciate it now, I wish I had been more aware of such a commendable quality in her all those years ago. I didn’t deserve the good things she did for me back then, but she still did them. She still loved me regardless of how much I shut her out of my life. And for these things I will forever be grateful.
My heart aches for those who don’t have a good relationship with their mother, or whose mother’s have passed away. It’s a bond people need to experience in life. I don’t know where I’d be without it.
I love you Mom!
Peace – Sarah