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Curse you, “Space”

All of the time I spent staring off into space this week finally had a serious repercussion, worse then just the procrastination of my story. I completely dropped the ball at work this week forgetting to schedule two final locations and they are in PA so it’s not an easy quick project to do. Those houses were scheduled to settle today and yesterday the client contacted me looking for them and I never even had them on the schedule. I have NEVER messed up a settlement; in fact I typically try to have the locations and descriptions to them a few days in advance. Disrupting a builder’s settlement schedule could potentially cost us big time!

So in an effort to still somehow provide them with the plats and legal descriptions in time for today’s noon settlement I had to pull a field guy off a job and send him up to PA, while I prepped the plans and descriptions so that as soon he returned I could just plot the points, draft the house, have them reviewed-signed-sealed, and race them out the door.

Luckily, somehow, I got all of this accomplished before 11am – just in time for the first settlement. Thank God it all worked out ok, but still I can’t believe the failure on my part. I am so anal retentive that I keep a schedule pinned right in front of my face at my desk and I update it daily to make sure I’m on top of all that needs to be done. How I overlooked two entire houses in the same community is beyond me. (Subconsciously hears Heath saying in his best Tropic Thunder impression, “It’s beyond ME,” and I laugh to make light of the situation)

As far as space and my book are concerned, as a result of my stunt in the backseat of the car yesterday I felt too uneasy all night to write again so space took over. I really hope to write something of substance this weekend though because I’m actually getting sick of space right now. It can be fun to let your mind wander, but seriously I’ve had enough at this point. It’s time to get back on track in more areas then just my book and job and in order for that to happen space needs to stop toying with me.

Peace – Sarah

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Sitting permanently fixed in my daydreaming state

Seriously I can not stay focused.

My mind was completely in space all day at work today, I can’t keep doing this. And it’s not even like I was in one particular space the whole time, it’s not like any of the thoughts swimming around up there even had any relevance to anything so it was just completely wasted time. Useless things like how I use chap stick more then the average person and somehow my lips still seem chapped and that thought wondered to whether it’s safe to use chap stick as much as I do or not and as I put the chap stick away for the millionth time today the thoughts were immediately erased and replaced with something else completely random. I feel like I have ADD sometimes, although I know I don’t.

And I foolishly listened to some music that Maggie was listening to (Florence & the Machine) and got hooked so my “break from music” last week was also a waste. But I love this new music too much to quit it just yet. It makes me want to dance in a ridiculous way without a care in the world. (Go ahead, you can laugh imagining that)

All of this time in “space” got me thinking tonight though because I’ve got to get some sort of control up there and soon. Here’s what I came up with.

– I’ve been craving books. I’ve previewed like 20 books in the last couple of days on Amazon adding them to my wish list like I’m some sort of shopaholic (which I’m definitely not). I’m not allowed to buy any until my birthday though because that’s all my b-day wish list consisted of. It’s not far off, but I really want to read them – like now.

– I’m a lot more distraught over the changes that are necessary for my story to be what it needs to be then I originally thought I would be. I mean I’m still far more pleased with this new direction, but there are so many replacements of entire scenes, back story, and dialogue that need to happen. I’m finding myself sad to have to chop some of the stuff I thought was the better parts of the book, but there’s just no place for them now. I’ve been able to shift a few scenes around which was nice, but overall the whole process has been overwhelming.

Truthfully I think all of the “space” time is my brain trying to avoid difficulty which disappoints me. And maybe even the sudden urge to read is a way to justify to myself that it’s okay to give the book a break.

The real me disagrees. This is something I really want to finish and sooner rather then later. I already feel like it’s been too long, like I should have more accomplished by now. Something has to start clicking again up there and stop wasting so much time.

Desperately hoping the story doesn’t lose its luster while I impatiently wait for clarity to resurface in my mind.

Peace – Sarah

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I write better than I speak, but I think better than I write

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