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I wish it wasn’t over…

Returning to work today was the pits. Returning after the weekend is always hard, but returning after a four day weekend is even harder. I keep telling myself, “It’s only a four day week, it’s only a four day week,” but it’s not helping my outlook about waking at six AM all week before the weekend is finally here again. So since today was so –eh- I will relish in the memories of the last two days, in which I did mostly nothing and loved every second of it.

Sunday, unlike most people, we did not go see fireworks. I can honestly say I can’t even remember the last time I did. We heard lots of noise, but nothing could be seen from our house. We did go to Rita’s for Mango Gelati’s since it’s been steadily in the 100’s here and has no intention of cooling off anytime soon and we rented two movies (The Book of Eli & When in Rome), both of which were very good.

I also finally finished reading “Betwixt.” I liked the book a lot more the further I got into it, but it was slow for me (especially in the beginning) and the constant use of curse words seemed unnecessary and distracting. I expect a book to make me feel more intelligent by its end and I did not feel this way with this book at all. I did end up liking the characters more as their true colors started to show (well maybe not Morgan, she still seemed like a bitch even at the end to me), but I was NOT satisfied with the ending. In fact I can’t believe the book was allowed to end with such an “Oops sorry, there’s no real ending” kind of statement. I felt like I’d invested 500 pages for nothing. Now if there’s a sequel in the works I will be less mad about the ending, but still I closed the book feeling irritable.

Monday, I read… almost ALL day! I started the morning reading “The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner” which I finished in a couple of hours (it’s just fewer than 200 pages). As far as that book goes, well it just seemed unnecessary altogether. And if I were to write from a different characters perspective from the Twilight Series, it certainly wouldn’t have been her. Still it wasn’t a terrible read, just seemed pointless. I took a break to straighten up the house a bit and then I jumped into “Infinity: Chronicles of Nick.” I’m just going to say it now, it’s the best book I’ve read in a while and I hope I’m not jinxing myself too early by saying so. I’m 260 pages into already (there’s 500 pages total) and so far I’ve been introduced to gods, demons, vampires, zombies, and there’s even been mention of werewolves and this is all taking place in your average town in New Orleans. I love the clash of supernatural’s (my story does this too, although not the same mix ::wink wink::) And the story is oddly hilarious despite all these creepy creatures roaming around reeking havoc on New Orleans. Also, Nick, the 14 year old main character, has got one hell of a sense of humor. I’m already looking forward to reading more from this series! [NOTE to edgyauthor: The entire time I’m reading this I’m thinking, Heather will love this!]

So that’s it, my four day weekend was marvelous and I miss it already, but I’m grateful to have had it regardless. Tune in tomorrow for my 7 on the 7th post where I shamefully admit how terrible I was at achieving my goals for the month.

Peace – Sarah

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Hello 4 Day Weekend (a.k.a A Big Everything Post)

As of 4pm today I am on vacation for the next four days. Not real vacation of course, I’m not going anywhere, but I’m off with no real obligations at all! My mind is filled with all sorts of possibilities. How many of those I will fulfill, is a completely different story though. While I want to accomplish plenty of things, part of me really wants to enjoy doing nothing just because I can and that’s rare.

Anyway, I’ve been bottling up all of these ideas and random thoughts for days now, since being sick put a hefty thwart in my regularity of being online and so here they come in a numbered form (for lack of a better way of making it flow properly).

1. I’ve recently gotten into the show “The Big Bang Theory” and have been watching it marathon style. It’s a hilariously dorky show and if you haven’t seen it and like nerdy fun it’s a must see. The character Sheldon is so smart and out of touch with people he is by far my favorite person on the show. My cheeks hurt after each episode because it’s almost non-stop laughter.

2. I’m still not finished reading BETWIXT, but I intend to finish it tomorrow possibly pool side. I know, so out of character for me, but my parents are away right now so no ones home and it’s been ungodly hot out here. Might be nice to get some color and be able to take a dip in the pool with no one to witness me in a bathing suit. Not to mention the quiet free time to wrap up a book. Either way, I will definitely finish it during this break, definitely. BTW – I’m not sure how I feel about it yet. It was quiet interesting to me at first, but I’ve been distracted by the constant usage of curse words and so far I have a rather strong distaste for everyone except Ondine and Nix and even they are sketchy to me at this point. Hopefully I’ll have a more warm and fuzzy feeling about the story as a whole once I reach its conclusion.

3. In regards to reading – my gosh I’ve been distracted by the temptation to buy new books. I told myself I wasn’t allowed to buy new books until July or until I’ve read all of the latest books I purchased and while July has arrived, I’m not even half way through the last six. Oh Books, you will be the death of me. The second I’ve started into the last of the latest purchases those five waiting in my Amazon shopping cart will be mine. [Insert evil book buying laughter here]

4. Musically I’ve been wrapped up in my 90’s Alternative Rock Collection (which actually leaks into the early 2000’s) to keep myself from seeking new tunes. This collection is around 500 songs that I’ve built up since my high school days and is by far one of my favorites. Is it just me or has alternative rock music lost its luster since the 90’s? I mean, don’t get me wrong there have been several successful groups to come along since then, but the scene as a whole was so ripe back then.

5. Okay so writing. ::Sigh:: I’m in a difficult place right now with my book. I’ve written nothing in almost two weeks and it’s because my mind is seriously on overload re-thinking almost every little aspect of my story. This deserves a sub-section of numbers.

Qualms with my book:

1. Now that I’ve read so many other stories I worry ridiculously about too many similarities with others. Not whole plot lines or anything, I mean it’s not like it would seem like I jacked a story, but still I want it to be original and I’m starting to see or feel like that’s just not possible.

2. That mystery element I thought I had resolved only presented another fallacy of the plot – something else that would contradict itself. And while I feel like I’ve figured out a way to fix that, while also cutting what once took three scenes to achieve down to one, it’s left me questioning things leading into and out of that change.

3. I’m debating getting rid of two of my characters. I can’t believe I’m saying that considering they are the elders of my story, the ones who hold the wisdom, but I’m starting to think maybe it’d be better if they didn’t have that wisdom to rely on. It might make the mystery part of the story more… oh I don’t know. Ugh. I just don’t know.

4. I’m beginning to feel like it’s hopeless. Like I should be done by now, like it’s ridiculous to be making such changes or even thinking about them this far into the game. I’m trying to tell myself it’s just a moment of doubt and to overcome it. But I’m not doing the best job at convincing myself.

There’s more issues with my book, but my minds drawn a blank trying to sort them all out just now. See, that’s how much it’s driving me crazy.

Moving on…

Earlier this week edgyauthor tagged me on her Blogger site in which she was given a versatile blogger award and the rules stated “… share some things about yourself and to pass the award along” She listed six things so I suppose I will do the same, however considering she is one of the two people who actually read my blog and she tagged the other reader in her own post, it appears the passing of such awards stops here. Sorry, I’m always terrible with these sorts of thing, but I didn’t want her to think I ignored the tag. So here it goes.

1. My nails have been painted black for over a year and a half now.

2. When I was in high school I had backstage passes to the HFSetival (alternative rock station in my area 2 day event) and after meeting all of the bands I wrote an article in Girls Life magazine about the experience.

3. Tomorrow, July 2, will mark 6 years with my fiancé. My longest relationship to date.

4. I have played with my eyelashes since my hand could reach my eye and I hate it, but it’s a habit I can’t seem to quit.

5. I despise talking on the phone. This also includes not having a phone capable of Facebooking, Twittering, and the likes.

6. I love watching cooking shows, however I do not cook. My fiancé is the cook in our house.

Alright, this has taken me far too long to type and I’ve probably definitely bored you by now so I’ll leave you for the night. Ta-ta friends!

Peace – Sarah

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Mystery Element Resolved

So I gave it a lot of thought last night (more than I should have because it ate up a lot of my time to read) and I think I’ve come up with a solution. I’m going to have to make my characters more ignorant to the truth and/or their history than I originally intended, but I think it’s the only way the mystery will work. If I let them be more knowledgeable leading up to the solved mystery then they will look stupid for not knowing the answer long ago. So instead, I will have them researching for some sort of clue and that clue will be found the moment the answer is obvious to them. That probably makes little sense to anyone but me because I’m being mighty vague about the details, but either way I feel a bit more at ease about it now and wanted to get it off of my chest.

Because I spent so much time thinking about them (my characters) last night, I dreamt about them for the first time in a while (in the little patches of sleep I got) and acted out the revised scenes on the way to work this morning, which I haven’t done in a long time either. It felt good and it’s making me want to get cracking on the revisions so I can get to all of those fun chapters. But I am really enjoying “Betwixt” and so now I need to find the happy balance between writing and reading. I don’t want to miss the opportunity of feeling my own story so strong right now, so “Betwixt” may take a back seat for a moment, but I can’t just stop reading it altogether because it’s too good.

*I wish there were more free hours in a day*

Peace – Sarah

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Note: I didn’t want to make the focus of this post about how bad my co-workers made my day because I hate being one of those people who complains all of the time, but just know that my song choice for this post couldn’t have been any more appropriate for my mood today. Thank God for my wickedly good 90’s Alternative Rock collection and an IPod to tune out the bullshit.

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Questions Existing

Sleep, why do you torture me so?

When my alarm went off this morning I actually felt like crying I was so tired. Despite going to bed earlier than usual and despite taking Melatonin before going to bed, I was still up every hour five minutes before the hour to use the bathroom or just to check the time manically. And once 4 am rolled around I laid there exhausted hoping for sleep, begging it to give me those last two hours, but it was hopeless. That is until about twenty minutes before I needed to be up. That’s the worst – finally falling asleep right before you’ve run out of time. Needless to say, my morning was difficult and my eyes wanted nothing more than to close themselves without my permission.

Outside of my disappointment over lost sleep, the rest of the day my mind was met with a series of questions/thoughts surrounding my book and introduced to “Betwixt” during lunch. I didn’t get very far into “Betwixt,” only half way into the second chapter, but it’s definitely grabbed my interest already so I look forward to continue reading tonight after I complete a few other tasks.

In regards to my book though, it’s like all at once questions or ideas started flooding my mind – which I suppose is a good thing since I haven’t reached the parts of the book in my re-writes where these topics take place, but still, I thought I had it all sorted out and now I’m not so sure. There’s some continuity issues I’m having with the mystery end of my story that I think might make it weak if I don’t change the way I had initially intended to write it. And I’m also worrying that book two of my two book story will be far better than the first book which is obviously a problem because if I can’t make the first book equally as fulfilling no one will care to ever read the second one even though that’s where all the really great adventure lies.

Also, who dictates this magical number of words required for a novel? I’ve read several novels that far surpass this 70,000-80,000 criteria and I’m just wondering how they got past the ropes when some didn’t. Maybe if I wasn’t limited to such a small number my book wouldn’t have to be two books. I mean I have drastically reduced the word count already in the re-writes (my original first chapter was something like 8,000 words and now it’s only 5,000 and my original second chapter was 11,000 words and now it’s a little over 3,000) but I don’t think I could keep the overall word count low enough to meet these standards if I tried to merge both stories together into one book. Maybe I should just write them both straight through and let someone else tell me where to break it? Ugh, I just don’t know how to approach it!

And then, the biggest question or thought of all, that’s been there longer than just today. I need a reader who actually reads the kind of stuff I’m writing. My mom doesn’t really read anything outside of religious romance and my other reader (who only read snippets) doesn’t really read at all. I KNOW I need opinions with experience and I want them. Initially I wanted to wait until the book was actually finished to worry about finding a suitable candidate, but I know finding someone comparable isn’t always easy and I don’t want to be waiting forever after it’s complete just for an opinion. Also, I’m freakishly paranoid about revealing it to strangers, so ideally I’d like to know the person a little at least before I release my baby to them. I feel like I’m investing too much thought into this, but I can’t let it go. I like to plan ahead and this is something I wish was already sorted out. Plus it would be nice to have someone I could shoot ideas off of like my mystery element issue that will have some understanding of the story and keep it secret. But even as much as I want it, I’m scared of it.

Okay I’m annoying myself at this point with these damn questions and thoughts. Moving on my to-do list now and then “Betwixt” where I can ignore my mind for a moment and pleasure it with something else.

Yeah, that’s avoidance – I know. So shoot me.

Peace – Sarah

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Two posts in one night? I must be crazy!

Not really, I just felt like writing. (Why did I hear Forrest Gump saying “I just felt like running” in my head when I typed that? Maybe I am crazy?)

Anyway, even though it’s only Tuesday, this week, like the last, has been pretty unproductive so far which is bothering me, but apparently not enough to do something about it yet.

I was doing so well with all of my “To-Do” lists, knocking my small daily ones out everyday the week before last. I was seriously on a roll and feeling proud. Then last week came with a fierce migraine that lasted far too long and caused way too much pain to function properly at anything and I’ve been trying to play catch up since.

I hope to start reading “Betwixt” tomorrow and maybe finish re-writing Chapter 3 of my book as well. I would like to work out outside, but they’re calling for 100 degree weather and well, you know how little tolerance I have for the heat. Just going outside to get in my truck is suffocating.

Whatever I end up doing tomorrow, I hope I’ll be more motivated. I plan to go to bed after this which is an hour earlier than normal; maybe it will give me the added energy to find the strength to get my butt in gear again. Somehow though, regardless of how much sleep I get, I’m always still so damn tired.

Goodnight Friends.

Peace – Sarah

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Friday, Thank God you’ve finally arrived

I took a mini break from the internet this week, but boy did I miss a lot. Both LJ and FB failed to notify me of messages/comments waiting and I am just now seeing that I’ve got a lot of catching up to do. *Good thing it’s the weekend*

All of my new books finally arrived, but apparently I can’t count because I thought I ordered 7 when in fact I really only ordered 6. Either way, I’m giddy over the nice pile they’ve created. Check out their beauty 😉

Despite my still ongoing headache I couldn’t resist the urge to start reading one. I’m in the middle of “The Overton Window” and it’s VERY good so far. I think I will read “Betwixt” next week and that “Bree Tanner” book the following since it will be close to the release of Eclipse. Not sure of the order after that and even though I have these beauties I’ve been struggling terribly with the temptation of ordering more.

In regards to the throbbing pain I’ve been experiencing all week all of my goals seemed to have been placed on hold. I couldn’t work out, I couldn’t write, and I think this week is the longest I’ve ever went without listening to music. My head couldn’t tolerate the sound. Even my own voice seemed too loud for me. Today the headache seems no where near as strong and I hope that means it’s finally finished torturing me for a little bit so I can resume my monthly goals.

Well off to play catch up with the net world. Hope everyone has a happy Friday 😉

Peace – Sarah

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Doing everything except what I should be doing… typical

Boy was it a trying week. Seriously my job is pushing me to new extremes. I’m bound to lose it at any moment at this point. Heath came up with this awesome quote this week that I feel like represents almost everyday I faced at work this week.

“What did you put in your tea this morning? Some sugar and a splash of stupid?”

I was so heated by the time today ended I couldn’t even sit still without sighing heavily at the sheer ridiculousness of it all. Thank God the week is over. Hopefully the Lord will grant me more patience next week, when I’m guaranteed to be faced with the same, if not more, annoyance. I tell myself, “At least I have a job, right?” *Remember this Sarah*

Anyway, work isn’t worth losing sleep over so let me fill you in on all of the other things my week involved. I watched three insanely good movies and since it’s been a while since I’ve given much attention to my first love (movies) I feel the need to tell you about them.

“The Lovely Bones” was beautiful, sad, imaginary, and suspenseful. I wish I had read the book first – I had initially intended too – but I will definitely still read it regardless because my theory is: the books are always better. I love Saoirse Ronan, who plays the main character in “The Lovely Bones”. She also plays the main character in another book series-made into movie that I loved, “The City of Ember” and this girl is Irish. I have a special place in my heart for the Irish 😉

The next movie was also a book first, “Shutter Island” staring Leonardo DiCaprio, whom I swear I hate, but I honestly can’t tell you a movie I didn’t like of his. I don’t know what I have against him because he is a truly talented actor. Anyway, this movie was super intense and kept you guessing until the last minute. Even at the end you aren’t completely positive what to believe. It was very well done and another one I wish I had read first.

But the best of all three movies was “From Paris with Love” starring John Travolta. Easily his best film in years, in my opinion. And there was this “Pulp Fiction” reference which I’m such a sucker for considering I love Quinton Tarantino. Everyone keeps calling this the new “Pulp Fiction” but I don’t get it. While the movie was uber action packed and completely bad ass I wouldn’t call it close to the likes of a film like “Pulp Fiction.” Anyway, this one was so great that I actually didn’t want to watch it, I wanted to be doing other things on my “to-do list,” but it was impossible to take my eyes off the screen. This one I will own one day, no doubt about it.

– Moving on –

I tried VERY hard to focus on the goals I set in the last post this week and I met some of them. I worked on FanNook three times this week, prepping content for at least two of the sites. And I wrote like 6,000 words total of re-writes for my book. That wasn’t as much as I’d hoped to achieve, but at least it wasn’t completely lost to me. Of course, tonight instead of working on those first few chapters I’ve revisited another chapter later on in the story where my main character gets drunk and crosses the lines in their relationship. I don’t know why, but it’s one of my favorite chapters and somehow I intend to make it even better than I already think it is. I know I have no business meddling with chapters I’m not supposed to be focusing on right now, but I can’t help myself. At least I’m working on it, right?

In other writing news, I started a short story this week completely out of my nature about a wife’s plot to murder her husband, inspired by a Beyonce song entitled, “Why don’t you love me?” It’s pretty scary that I can envision such things as chopping up your husband and feeding him to the dog, but I am for this track. Anyway, hopefully I’ll wrap that up soon and post for your amusement.

Three of my seven new books arrived this week and it was very hard to not read at least one of them, I was disappointed in one of them though. The description said “New,” but I don’t consider a cracked binding and bent corner “New.” I would have sent it back, but it was one of the Diana Wynne Jones books and it’s pretty much out of print so I will accept it as is. I was really hoping “Betwixt” would have arrived this week *What’s going on Amazon, you’re never this tardy?* I wanted to read that before I read “The Overton Window” which I know will arrive Wednesday guaranteed, but if it doesn’t show up by then it will take second place in my reading queue for the month because I am ridiculously excited for “The Overton Window.”

And so I leave you for the night jamming out to new music, even though I said I wouldn’t buy new music this month. *Blame m-stiefvater, it’s her fault* I hope to have a super successful and fun-filled weekend and I hope you all do too 😉

Much love – Sarah

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Friday, so nice of you to finally show up

(Warning: Part of this was written while I was at work, the end was written around 9pm so it may not flow in the best of ways – my apologies.)

This has felt like maybe the longest week ever, which is odd considering I had Monday off for the holiday. Regardless of its lengthiness I’m glad the weekend is finally here.

Despite my aching eyes yesterday I couldn’t help from continuing “The Law of Nines.” (But with my glasses on) There’s no doubt I’m sucked in at this point, just like I was with the Sword of Truth Series. Terry Goodkind has this awesome way of writing his main male characters as strong, but the female lead is always stronger. I like this 😉 My Teagan is totally this way whether it’s evident or not at first because I just love when females are kick ass. Also, major bonus – “The Law of Nines” is linked to the Sword of Truth Series, but the setting is current day – our world, the lead male’s name being Alex Rahl and the mysterious woman’s name being Jax Amnell. And I just read that it’s part of a trilogy AND that he has been signed on for another trilogy of strictly Richard and Kahlan (from the first 11 books of The Sword of Truth Series) novels. I’m so ecstatic I could SQUEE… okay I did. Geez… I’m such a fangirl at times. For those of you who loved Legend of the Seeker on TV, read something of Terry’s, seriously it will be worth your while. I promise! He is the writer who will help me be grounded again, just like he inspired me back then to even write my story. I’m glad I will have finished my reading stint with Terry Goodkind.

Although, I did just buy the following on recommendation and/or because I couldn’t stop myself (Gosh I’m such a sucker for new books; seriously this is the longest addiction I’ve ever held):

“Betwixt” by Tara Smith (thanks Heather (aka edgyauthor) for the suggestion)

“Howl’s Moving Castle” and “Dogsbody” by Diana Wynne Jones (thanks m-stiefvater for the awareness)

“The Overton Window” by Glenn Beck (thanks Glenn for the importance of such a thriller at such a time in US society)

“Infinity: The Chronicles of Nick” by Sherrilyn Kenyon (thanks Amazon for adding to my reading addiction with your suggestions and Target for showing me the physicality of this book last weekend and tempting me with its beauty when I shouldn’t be spending on such luxuries)

Also coming sometime next week because I already pre-ordered it: “The Short Second Story of Bree Tanner” by Stephenie Meyer. I may seriously wait until the release of Eclipse for this because unfortunately I still feel a bit mad at her for lying about writing more for the series. (see THIS POST for explanation)

So that’s it. All I have to say today. I wanted to say how irritating certain people have become to me lately, but it’s not worth entertaining the energy in doing so, so I will let it go. Let’s hope they don’t push the same nerves next week and prompt me to go on a rampage about idiocy and ignorance next week.

Much love to all my LJ friends… you have no idea how much you encourage me. And for once, in a while, I’m looking forward to writing again. As soon as I’m finished with the awesomeness that is “The Law of Nines.”

Peace – Sarah

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